Tuned In

When did we stop tuning in?  

Reveling in the warm and sunny weather today, I went for a walk outdoors instead of on my home elliptical.  I intentionally left home the iPod, instead wanting to hear some of the signs of Spring.  I eavesdropped into conversations (though only for seconds as I walked by), heard children squealing with delight as they rode their bicycles before the school bus arrived, noticed birds seemingly chatting, was greeted by neighbors who I rarely see all winter long…and was struck by a few moments of silence.  The walkers rushing by with their ears plugged may have been enjoying their favorite tunes, but they were definitely tuning out. 

Not only do we live in a world overstuffed with information, but we’ve grown used to noise clutter and have grown unaccustomed to the sweet sound of silence.  We’ve stopped really hearing though we think we’re listening all the time.

Managers engaging in a courageous conversation with a team member talk at the other person rather than allow a moment of silence, time for the other person to think and respond.  Presenters too-often miss the dramatic impact of a pause, worried instead that their silence will be misinterpreted as a mistake or nerves.  They even fill those wonderful seconds without content with mindless fillers (um, uh…).    Teenagers do their homework while listening to music rather than allowing their brain the total concentration that silence might afford.  We’re told that Gen Y may actually focus better with noise in the background, because the noise actually calms rather than interrupts.   How is that possible if we’re also now told that multi-tasking isn’t as effective as studies had indicated in the past, and that, in fact, once you interrupt what you’re doing to begin another task, you can lose up to 15 minutes trying to get back to your initial task.  Or that the reaction time of drivers who talk on their cell phones is up to 60 seconds slower than the driver just driving.  

Imagine what we might achieve if instead of tuning out, we all tuned in consciously, with focus and commitment.   What more would we hear?  What else would we notice?  Who else might we meet?

Business Expo Musings

Three Q&A on yesterday’s New England Xpo for Business at Boston:

1. What was the best reason to be there?  The event was an opportunity to network, learn and cultivate new business resources and vendors.  Plus…these kinds of events are always a great way to feed the brain. 
2. What were your three key take-aways from the seminars:  The single most gratifying take-away was that I already know a lot.  But I also learned: 1) Two sources for oft-quoted concepts in Loeb Group workshops.  It was Henry Thoreau who said “Our life is frittered away by detail…Simplify.  Simplify.”  Plus both Roger Ailes and the Harvard Business School talk about the “seven second rule” — asserting that impressions are created in the first seven seconds.  2) Rather than consider web opportunities as one part of your marketing strategy, instead — and thinking with a client-centric mindset — the web is actually at the center of all marketing activity.   And…3) Contrary to what we’d expect in a down economy, and because of the conversations vs. hard sell happening in social media, marketing is moving towards longer-term returns.  So at a time when information moves faster than ever, the pace of persuasion is slowing.   Hmmmm.
3. What was most surprising?  Though I certainly exchanged lots of business cards (notice: exchanged vs. gave out), there were many, many times when there really was no fit at all.   I even passed up the opportunity to win some very cool prizes when I realized that there was absolutely no reason XYZ company needed to have my contact information in their database.  Similarly, the person sitting to my left and right at each seminar wasn’t always a potential client, resource or vendor.    I wonder…given the era of LinkedIn, Plaxo and Outlook,will anyone even carry business cards at the New England Xpo for Business in 2015 (or next year)?

Finally, one thing hasn’t changed since the first trade show I attended 20 years ago and this year’s business expo.  It’s still good to wear comfortable walking shoes!

Message vs. Messenger?

Which is more important: the message or the messenger?  Boston University graduates learned one more lesson yesterday as they cheered their commencement speaker’s remarks.  While initially disappointed not to have a more prominent, celebrity-type messenger, U.S. Representative and former Somerville (MA) mayor Michael Capuano won over the crowd with his message.  “You do not have to be extraordinary, you do not have to be rich or famous to change this world.  Anyone and everyone can make a difference.”  

While I could write an entire blog on the clear motivational message in Representative Capuano’s remarks, there’s another lesson here about the importance of having a message that resonates with your audience whenever you’re speaking — whether to a large graduating class, board room or staff meeting.   

A common concern for all commencement speakers this year was how to address an ever-expanding group of graduates in a still-shrinking economy?   Representative Capuano tackled the other thought dominating his audience’s minds…”Why should they care about what a little-known politician had to say?  What could he possibly say to them that they would find interesting?”  He nailed it — 1) knowing his audience; 2) anticipating what was on their minds; and 3) courageously tackling their concern by making that his message!  

Brilliant and clearly a hit!  One last lesson the graduating class of 2009 can take away from their Boston University education.

Ladies First

“Ladies First.”  “Rachel Alexandra Defeats Boys in Preakness.”   Or, as motherjones.com put it, “Rachel Alexandra, Meet Anna Wintour” because when women compete they are held to different standards.    “So are fillies too fragile to compete with the guys in the big races?  They are treated that way.”  Hmmmm.   Similarly the legendary Vogue editor, Anna Wintour (aka the “Devil” in “The Devil Wears Prada”) was interviewed by 60 Minutes’ Morley Safer about the business world in which she competes, and was asked repeatedly about her bitchy (and at least in the movie highly unsympathetic) demeanor.  “Would Safer dare ask Donald Trump or Richard Branson if they were bitchy because they of their no-smile, hard-nosed business attitudes?” 

The huge surprise in Rachel Alexandra’s upset wins and the potentially sexist interview with a leading business figure reminded me of something I heard on a TV talk show a few weeks back as the world responded in delighted shock that Susan Boyle could sing despite her less-than-attractive looks.   Why are we surprised that someone who doesn’t look like Kelly Clarkson can compete based on her magnificent voice alone?     

So…why are we shocked that a filly can race and win?   Why are we surprised that someone who isn’t emulating a teen rock star’s glam-style can sing?  Why should a woman at the top of her field be judged differently than men at the top of theirs?   

Because these outstanding champions are still among the few who are each doing it in her own unique way — far exceeding what was expected of them!

Here’s to Mothers!

Tonight’s blog is dedicated to the biggest, most gratifying, sometimes most frustrating but always, always, always most important job in the world.  Here’s to mothers!

In one of the many wonderful Mother’s Day cards I received from my family today, my two teenagers described me as the “spinal cord of the family.”   Wow!  What a beautiful metaphor for how important I am to them.   I’ve read and re-read that card throughout today and will keep it close by for those moments when our relationship doesn’t feel quite so adoring.

Today my 18 year-old son and 16-year old daughter thanked me for all I do to make their very good lives possible. They commented on our evolving relationship as they seek greater independence and I struggle to give them the autonomy and respect they deserve without abdicating my responsibilities as a parent…or more specifically…as a mother!

As my kids describe me as the spinal cord of our family, my sisters and I always described my mother as the glue of our family growing up.    Though as adults my sisters and I have each put our own mark on how we parent, there is no question that we are consciously replicating so many of the values, interests and commitments that we learned from our mother including love of family, commitment to community, progressive politics, respect for learning and those around us, and absolutely how to create a home where kids of all ages feel warmly welcomed and well-fed!

Though I enjoy a gratifying professional career, as did my mother (a teacher and political activist), my mother believed and I know that our most important role in life is raising happy, smart, confident and caring individuals.  

So here’s to mothers — to my very special role as mother to my children, in loving memory of my mother and mother-in-law, and with huge respect for all mothers!